- me: (as boyfriends fails at attempting to get most of the ice cream in his mouth rather than all over the table and himself) I can only hope you're better at licking other things.
- boyfriend: oh, I am. Trust me on that one.
- me: I feel a tad sorry for you.
- boyfriend: why is that?
- me: I've never given a blowjob. I'm going to need a lot of practice before I'm any good at it.
- boyfriend: Hey, I'm available! Just say the word and I am there!
- me: I'd imagine that a Popsicle would work just as well...
- boyfriend: yeah, but you know the part where you finally get bored and just bite down on the Popsicle? yeah, don't do that.
- me: babe, I'm a virgin. I'm not stupid.
19. Sophmore in College. Political Science/English Literature Major. Queer. Vegetarian. Activist. Fabulous.Ask me anything
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